Modern Motherhood sucks. A not-so-serious reality check on being a mom in the 21st Century.

Modern motherhood sucks. Wait, what? Did she really just publish that? I did, and I obviously got you to read on — either because you’re really offended or because you’re a mom yourself and you’re like ‚hell, yes!‘. Truth is, being a mom is the most wonderful and the most difficult job on earth. So, yes. Motherhood often sucks.

Before I begin, let me make this one thing very clear: I love my daughter beyond words and I am truly grateful for having her in our life. I love being her mom and I would not trade her for the world.

If so, why the strong statement? Being a mother in the 21st Century is certainly safer, healthier, and, in many ways, easier than it has ever been. It also is the most complex, confusing and therefore in many ways the most demanding it has ever been. This series is one modern mom’s reality check on how motherhood in today’s world is a challenge by its own.

Part #1: Welcome to the world of ‚everyone’s business‘

It started when my pregnancy became obvious. Nothing draws attention in everyday life like that big, beautiful basketball shape under a woman’s jacket. Smiles, compliments, good wishes. And, tons of unsolicited advice. You should not be eating this, you cannot lift that. Don’t drink this, dress warmer, stop exercising, work less. Often rooted in good intention (with a good share of wanting to feel relevant) these remarks quickly became my pet peeve (along with random strangers touching my belly without asking permission. Yes, seriously!) Naturally, when my daughter was born, it didn’t stop. I seriously lost track of how many times both strangers and family felt the need to tell me that my baby was cold, warm, hungry, thirsty, in pain or was being held, carried, or in any other way treated inadequately.

Source: https://www.instagram.com/kosogkaos/?hl=en

While most people will usually hold back their urge to uninvitedly mix into what is non of their business, pregnancy and motherhood seem to have been declared a zone of public interest where just about anyone is entitled to have — and voice — their very own opinion. Almost every mother has come across this annoying pattern. And for the most part, this is what it is: an annoying side effect of having that stinking cute newborn.

In some cases though, being confronted with a constant flow of unsolicited advice and judgement can become dangerous. New mothers are especially prone to emotional and mental instability. They are only learning to care for their newborn baby, they might feel weak and exhausted from labor and are still recovering. Their bodies deal with postpartum hormones and lack of sleep. In those cases even the most well-intended advice can become too much and

might add onto self-doubt and feeling of worthlessness or even amplify depressive tendencies.

So: random strangers, nosy neighbors, overly involved family, and know-it-all friends of the world: Next time you feel that overwhelming urge to touch, comment, share: just don’t. One very capable mom will appreciate it.